A letter to a good friend (Part C)

My dear friend, things in your lives went very wrong for very simple reasons. And it΄s exactly those same reasons hampering people in our society, whether young or old, to feel at ease. At ease with their own life and with their fellow beings, and at ease to create a civilisation(adults are not the sole creators)which would honour the aesthetics, the mystery and the majesty of our existence in its totality, and not as a reflection of our self-centered view of life. Initially, I would have to say that in your family there is no real happiness, and you know exactly what I mean. I am talking about spontaneous happiness from individuals who feel free and are comfortable with themselves;not an organized type of “happiness”(leisure)based on routines, traditions and habits. The latter one representing programmed self-amusement where almost everything is under control so that there would be the expected results. It is therefore no wonder why so many people today go to such great lengths to dine out with “friends”, since the whole setup is given, while there is rarely now any opportunity for spontaneous human expressions(virtual reality).

In your lives there is very little serenity, only constant tension and whining, caused by your superficial expectations from “poor wretched”life and from people around you. I saw no creative and honest communication between the family members, nor any deep earthy affection which bind people together, while not making them dependent on each other. There is no respect for each other;the respect for the freedom and uniqueness of the individual. I am also very conscious of the fact that the state of health of all of you, whether physical or mental, is not the best. One just has to look at the expression of your eyes and the complexion of your faces. Finally, and most critically, there is no”eros”in your life;those feelings of closeness and affinity with everything within you and around you. Those type of feelings that only children can have today, using all their senses, just before these are obliterated by the “unnatural”and “retrogate” values of the adult world. There are no real loving feelings and joy in your lives, because you have never adventured to become free human entities. Free in thought, in emotions and in your imagination;ridding yourselves of the many social phobias, the lies and the negativity which were passed on to you by your families, your “friends”and your society. You have never respected the greatness, the mystery and the generosity of life itself, because you have always been trying to manipulate and exploit life in a “crude”and “vicious” way, for personal interest. You wanted to play it smart and cunning with life΄s equilibriums, not wanting to accept that it΄s those equilibriums which have the last say. Therefore, instead of sustaining the various truths or equilibriums which you carry within your “inner being”and in your soul(some modern scientists would talk about the codes in the human DNA), and to function as creative partners with life, you have chosen (as most people)to make a whole lot of concessions to a soulless, impersonal and loveless society. You fell short, as most people do when they don΄t respect the free flow and the dialectic process of nature. The absence of “eros” and “truth” are exactly those two human elements which dominate your lives;elements which are quickly undermining your psychic and physical wholeness-the “wholeness” of all four members of the family!!!

From the time I stopped teaching your children, which must be about 6 years ago, I have rarely seen you, just sometimes during the holidays and a few days during the summer. So I have had very few opportunities to influence anyone, meaning of course “your children”. Nonetheless, I knew full well that your youngest son, who I adore, was suffering and is still suffering from serious psychological problems;problems which have affected his whole physical health, and more specifically his “immune” system. A serious condition which is also afflicting your elder son too. For both your sons, the doctors have diagnosed the causes as psychosomatic bodily reactions. Your elder son is obliged every so often, to undergo surgical treatment to the palm of his hands, which is both horrific and very painful. He himself has described to me all the sordid details. I am therefore asking you directly, “Do you and your husband have any share of responsibility in the health condition of your sons?”.

I was informed about the health condition of your younger son by your husband and by his brother, not by you. You prefer to keep things hidden and secret, so that the image of the “virtual reality”you have chosen to live should not get spoiled. At the same time, I learned that during the last year(before summer), your youngest son had entered into a relationship which was leading nowhere. It was a fiasco first of all because your son΄s psychological and physical state produced extreme and irrational patterns of behaviour, while his mate also had serious psychological problems. I had sensed this the first time I met her at your house, and I told you then and there!!Yet once again, you pretended not to understand. Later on, both your sons confided in me that the girl had serious mental lapses which affected negatively the way she behaved, as well as the way she handled her relationship with your son. And eventhough your son felt shattered both physically and mentally, he refused to put an end to this affair.

Many months went by, when I saw again your younger son at your place. It was then that I realised how much this boy was suffering, just from his appearance and the way he behaved. It was a serious situation that you didn΄t want to admit, either to me or to yourself. Your son was in constant stress and very nervous, with long lapses of time when his eyes focused into empty space. At the same time, he looked very pale and fragile. I shouldn΄t also forget the various skin lesions on his arms and legs. I didn΄t know what you and your husband were doing to help your son, but I personally wanted to come to his aid as quickly as possible. This was also the main reason why I came to your country house in the middle of the summer. I wanted to talk to him and be close to him. I wanted to have long talks with him in an atmosphere of trust and openness, the way we did when he was a young boy and I was his teacher. It was then that he would tell me about his fears and insecurities related to the pressures felt from his society, his social circle and especially his family. All these insecurities and fears grew worse in time, since your main priorities, both for you and your husband, were your financial and social status in society.

My dear friend, what happened during these 3 days last summer? What made you push me out of your life in such an underhanded and boorish way?